Tantra Home Guided Audio Course for couples and singles

Discover How To Create More Romance

An atmosphere of romance is always conducive to intimate lovemaking experiences and women dearly love it. In creating the atmosphere, see yourself as a great lover and let your creative self step out of the ordinary and create something magical, something extraordinary.

Romance begins well before the first kiss. Men are often only romantic and hug and kiss when they are in bed. For women, romance starts much earlier. Foreplay to a man is kissing her neck and breasts. Foreplay to a woman can be a bunch of flowers or a phone call through the day telling her that you love her. If you are fortunate enough to have in your life a woman who loves you, I assure you that you cannot tell her too many times that you are madly in love with her. Ring her up many times before your planned evening. ‘I’m just ringing to let you know that I love you and I’m really looking forward to our time together.’ It’s as simple as that. And remember to touch her throughout the day in a loving way, not just when you get in to bed.

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Neil, who took one of our classes, told Diane and me: ‘Although I consider myself a good lover, I realised after you talked about romance that rarely through the day do I kiss or hug my wife Fay. I’m sure many days go by, sometimes, where we don’t even touch. I love my wife very much but I had fallen into the habit of not touching her unless it was during sex. So I decided to make it a practice that every time I heard Fay doing something in the kitchen I would go in and touch her on the upper back, give her a kiss, tell her something affirmative and say, “I love you.” It amazes me that such a simple thing has added so much to our love life again and I’ve taken on the idea that I am a great lover. What I’ve found is I’m enthusiastic now about creating more ways to practise the art of romance every day. Fay knows I’m doing it because of what I’ve learnt here in the workshop, but she still loves it.’
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Take on the image of being a great lover and devise ways to romance your woman. What is sexy and romantic to you may not be to her. For example, imagine your woman coming home from work before genitals, smothering you in kisses and saying ‘I want you now. I’m going to give it all to you tonight. I can’t wait.’ Sounds sexy, doesn’t it? It does to a guy. However, if you did and said the same to her, it could be a complete turn-off. That might be hard to believe for anyone who hasn’t lived with a woman.

That dialogue is the stuff of which movies are made – he grabs her breast and immediately she goes into ecstasy and starts ripping off his clothes. These movies are made by men or perhaps by women who have been seduced by male sexuality and who have probably never had sex with someone skilled in the art of romance or lovemaking.
In reality, telling your beloved that you’re pleased to be spending time with her or bringing her flowers to show that you care for her will turn her on much more than grabbing her breasts.

A guy once said to me: ‘Why didn’t God make men and women think the same? It would have saved a lot of messing around!’ I reminded him that women often seem like aliens to men and although their needs sometimes do not make sense to us, we can still win at the lovemaking game by responding to them. A great lover will give his partner what turns her on, not what he thinks will turn her on. Give your partner breakfast in bed on the morning of your special evening and when you come home, bring a bottle of champagne.

My suggestion is to make a special time for this romantic meeting. Mark it on your calendar and set aside at least three hours. People often make the point that it’s not romantic if it’s planned. However it is my experience that if you set a time it creates the opportunity for spontaneity to happen. There is nothing romantic about making love if the phone keeps ringing or the kids are screaming or running in and out of the room. Once you mark in your time
on the calendar, you can organise it so the kids are out of the house, the phone is off the hook and the doors are locked and labelled ‘Do not disturb’.

It is especially important for busy couples to claim some time for this special happening. Busy couples, couples where both partners work in high-powered jobs, or couples with families or couples in business together often do not get to make love until late at night, and by that time they often do not want to think about anything except going to sleep. After years of this, their lovemaking loses its juice, its excitement. They say: “Well, I can’t afford the time!’ That is ridiculous! May I point out that they find the time to watch TV; they find the time to attend aerobics classes; they find the time to go jogging; they find the time to read newspapers. It’s simply that they have put lovemaking on the end of their list.

I strongly suggest you find the time now to create romance, otherwise the cost might be your marriage …

It is a ridiculous situation to put your selves in. Look at your calendar – weddings, birthdays, social gatherings, business meetings, even shopping times are written there. Are all of these more important than romance? More important than your marriage? They might seem to be right now, but later on you may find your partner has been having an affair. It need not come to that, but it is important to get your priorities right. Mark off three hours every week or fortnight on your calendar for time together and do not allow anything to put it off. Make absolutely certain that the time is set.